By NSAA 3/28/10
—-
playing with her stretch marks
I realized that I accept her,
her imperfections and that
they
in no way diminish what I think
about her,
nor do they mar her beauty,
she is a beautifully imperfect
goddess
—-
Acceptance is a strange thing, a truth thing. When you accept something it’s about the truth of a matter. I’m not the best writer in the world and I accept that, but acceptance doesn’t mean I will stop growing, and stop trying to become the best writer I can be. I realized that at my gig last night, that I might not have been the best performer or receive highest praise at the end of my set. But I write, sing and poet because I breathe, think and have a heartbeat, it is my truth, unfortunate for some audiences.
Acceptance is about the truth of you, what you are, what you are going through. The best thing that can emotionally happen to a person is the realization through humbling events of what and who you are really. Reminds us to be humbly human and work to discard jealousy through acceptance of self and others and their gifts. The fact is on my bad or mediocre performance days someone out there is having a good or great one. Lately I’ve been backing away from things, trying to find the core of me, the kernel truth of me. Old things I use to do I’ve put aside because they were done with others in mind and not my heart in mind. I have taken a pause to ask why I do what I do. Maybe the answer can lead me to a fuller and more satisfying life. But this line of thinking got me to thinking. What does it mean to settle? And when is a good time to settle?
Settling is about the road of least resistance. It is the way of nature and of compromise. A stream meandering down a mountain cuts its way using the route of least resistance, finding weaknesses in the topography that give way easily to water pressure. Evolution is like this too. According to my old biology class years ago, humans aren’t perfect like the ancient Greek carved statues, nature settled on the human form not because it is optimal or beautiful. Evolution doesn’t make decisions because it wants to make the human form better but because it settled on a form that is good enough, not great but alright. Evolution is about the survival of the fittest. I always thought this meant the best of the best. But my biology teacher put me straight, it’s about the best suited, the best fitted for the job in a certain environment. (i.e. A dolphin can out swim you but you can beat it in a foot race). Settling is not a truth thing but rather a survival thing.
Knowing the truth of a situation can help you know where to settle. Many years ago, I had an assisting job, I thought because I assisted someone middle-up in the company his position gave me position and power, regardless of me just starting at entry level (I know I was naive). I came to find out that that wasn’t true; I was everyone’s assistant plus his. This was a hard and embarrassing lesson to learn but well worth it. Instead of me trying to strike deals and reaching settlements and agreements to get work done, I was telling people what I expected, very embarrassing. But to my defense it didn’t state this fact in the job description that I was hired under; nevertheless, lesson learned. If you accept a distorted truth you are headed for trouble.
There are pros and cons to acceptance and settling because truth is relative. Because every person has their own truth or perspective this can make acceptance a very powerful motivator, hindrance or catastrophe. If you accept a belief system as truth that acceptance can lead you to help the helpless, stand up for rights, perpetuate a misunderstanding or strap a bomb to your chest. Settling on the other hand is just as powerful. To settle can resolve conflicts, pass a bill or unjustly sail an innocent person down the river. When a street missionary approach you and say, “Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?” This statement or question is very serious as well as the answer you give. Acceptance is a big deal.
There are those I admire. People that could settle but don’t even though they risk a life of not being taken seriously, or persecution. Ralph Nader comes to mind, he’s not popular right now, but he doesn’t settle. He could’ve very easily sat back and rest on his past consumer protection victories won that has saved countless lives. But he believes whole heartedly in the idea of the America of the constitution. Each time he run for president he puts us all to the test challenging our ideas of democracy, pushing the rules of the constitution in our face. His actions speak to me loudly “do we settle for a two party system or do we accept the truth that democracy put forth, that every candidate has to earn our vote that anyone that meets the constitutional requirements has the right to run for president”. I remember before him running for office I accepted that I had no choice but now I root for him and yes sometimes vote for him; maybe I just like people that upset apple carts, but admittedly he hasn’t done anything wrong, and any argument against him is a settling argument, not saying settling is wrong. He is like a political artist to me, evoking a response. I feel if you don’t like what he’s saying please don’t vote for him, but don’t say someone shouldn’t vote for him because it’s a throw away vote and bagger him not to run for office, it’s his right and very American. Run, Forrest Run.
But most things have a mixture of acceptance and settling. By accepting certain truths you can have a guideline on which things to settle on. But some things can’t be settled. Take the Israeli Palestinian conflict for instance. There is no settling there. The Dome of the Rock was built right on top of where Solomon’s temple uses to be. You can’t share a holy site. Its like if your grandmother was buried on top of my grandmother, who owns the burial plot. Every time I see you there paying respects, I’m going to get upset because it’s a reminder that you will always be a part of my life. And neither party can do anything about it besides all out war.
